It will always be Damon ch. 1

"I can't loose you, Elena." Damon whispered, his soft blue eyes laced with agony. Elena gave him a reassuring smile.
"You won't." Damon couldn't accept those words, he knew that all Elena was holding onto was her faith and her stubborn inability to let Bonnie die. Damon knew what he had to do, but unfortunately...he also knew that Elena wasn't going to ever forgive him. To him it was worth it, at least he wouldn't have to spend eternity mourning the loss of the most beautiful girl he'd ever known. She let go of his hand and began to head toward the door, but Damon was quickly in her way.
"There is another way." It killed him to see the fear manifest in her eyes. Despite everything, Elena was the one person he didn't want to be afraid of him. He choked it down and dealt with it, he had to do this.
"Damon, no!" She could hardly get the words out before he ripped a chunk out of his wrist and forced it to her lips. Elena didn't want to, she fought it, but too much of his blood eventually filled her mouth and she had to swallow it. When he felt her swallow, he let her go, praying that she'd one day understand.
"You're so bent on dying...at least now I know you'll come back."
"As a vampire!" Stefan hissed, running into the room at vampire speed and knocking Damon to the floor. Then he was just as quickly by Elena's side, as if to make sure she was okay. The idea really pissed Damon off, Stefan should know he'd never hurt her, everybody should know that! Damon just glowered and allowed his incompetent little brother to speak.
"How dare you of all people take that choice away from her." Damon exchanged a bitter look with his brother and then turned a softer expression to a scared and angry Elena. He could tell by the look on her face that she wouldn't be forgetting this any time soon.
"Go ahead, wish me an eternity of misery. Trust me, you'll get over it." With that, Stefan had him on the ground again, his fangs bared and his eyes deadly black pools.
"Stefan stop!" Elena screamed. Damon's heart lurched with hope. The fact that she still cared enough about his safety showed him that maybe, just maybe, she didn't hate him. Stefan stood up and stalked across the room, grabbing Elena by the arm and leaving the house without so much as a goodbye glance to Damon.
Damon had never seen such anger on Stefan's face and he wanted to make sure Elena would be safe with him. Damon followed Stefan and Elena as the climbed an awfully long distance up a mountain...good thing vampires had patience. Damon could sense Elena growing tired and he wanted to pick her up and carry her, but he knew he couldn't make he presence known. Damon was half scared that Stefan would end Elena's misery by flinging her off the top. He kept close to her, watching her body language intently, attempting to figure out exactly how he was feeling. He could only come to one word...betrayed. That was the last emotion he wanted her to feel, and he was hoping whatever Stefan was planning was pleasant enough to take it away.
When they reached the top, Damon positioned himself behind a tree and listened as Stefan asked Elena how she was feeling.
"I was supposed to grow up...decide if I wanted to have kids and start a family. Now all of that is gone, it's been decided for me." She said quietly, allowing the tears to flow. Damon's heart ached, he hated it when she cried and he hated it even more when he was the reason. Damon had never thought about the fact that she would no longer be able to have children...and he never knew she had wanted them that badly. Damon suddenly had this need fill up in his chest, the need to be the one to give her that, a child...their child. He didn't know how he was going to do it but he was going to make it happen.
Stefan moved closer to Elena and extended his hand. Damon thought he was probably going to caress her in comfort. To his surprise, Stefan slapped Elena hard across the face.
"How dare you, Elena! Children?! So what, you had planed on stringing me along until you found a nice human to settle down with?! Fuck you...you selfish bitch." Within seconds Damon had his hands around Stefan's neck, his fangs dangerously close to Stefan's artery.
"If you EVER touch her again I will not hesitate to rip your throat out." He spat, his voice dripping with a kind of malice that even Stefan had never heard in his voice before. Elena sat on the ground, her hand cradling her bruised cheek and crying Damon's name. He immediately let go of Stefan and picked her up, tenderly kissing the spot she'd been struck on.
"Are you okay?" She just shook her head no and buried her face into the crook of his neck. He was back at the boarding house with the blink of an eye, carrying her upstairs and laying her on his bed. He lay down beside her and she rested her head on his chest.
"Do you...forgive me?" He chocked out, afraid of the answer.
"I'm dying tonight regardless, so what does it matter?" He kissed her temple.
"It matters because you're coming back and I don't want you to hate me for eternity. My heart couldn't take that kind of pain again, Elena." Elena was surprised that Damon had let so many walls down...enough to say something like that.
"Can we talk about that later? I just want to go to the sacrifice and die...I obviously don't have Stefan to live for anymore." Damon's eyebrows furrowed and he wanted to yell at her for being a martyr, but he knew that right now she just needed someone to be there for her.
"You should have never lived for Stefan. You should have lived for me, you have always had me, Elena. But I'm always everyone's second choice. When we met the night your parents died I thought you'd be the one to change all that. But I was wrong." She sat up an stared at him.
"Damon...we didn't meet the night my parents died..."
"Sure we didn't." He sighed, knowing she'd remember by the end of the night. Before Elena could ask any more questions there was a knock on the door.
"Klaus.." Elena whispered.
"You better come back to me Elena...I meant what I said earlier. I can't loose you." He said intently, his smoldering eyes consuming her. She gently reached up and kissed his lips, catching him off guard.
"Goodbye, Damon." He watched with a deep look of grief in his eyes as the woman he loved walked out the door for her date with death.